Ms. Valerie Joyce Graham

Valerie Joyce Graham was born in 1972 to the Graham family: father Otto Chester Graham, mother Andrea Diane Graham, sister Noelle Denise Allen, and brother Evan Jerrold Graham. She was brought home to 8706 Hidden Hill Lane in Potomac, Maryland, where she would grow up surrounded by trees and a wonderful community of friends and neighbors. Valerie was a self-proclaimed scaredy-cat as a child. Afraid of the dark, heights, and small spaces, she often sought comfort from her beloved parents, who recognized the deep sensitivity of their youngest child. Valerie was curious, empathetic, creative, and full of laughter. From an early age, Valerie showed a unique gift of taking care of the people around her, making great friendships at Stone Ridge Middle School and Churchill High School, some of which she maintained throughout her life. She arrived at the University of Delaware in 1990, where she took Newark, Delaware by storm. She got a job at the Rainbow Records store, where she combined her love of music and people. She was effortlessly the life of the party, and she developed a group of friends that remained by her side for the rest of her life. It was at the Deer Park, a popular bar on campus, that Valerie first fell in love with working in the service industry. This was a formative and incredibly special time in Valerie’s life that she remembered fondly and talked about often. In 1996, Valerie gave birth to Dorian, her only child. Motherhood came naturally to Valerie, and she fulfilled the role with great confidence, creativity, and enthusiasm. From the moment Dorian was born, she was by her mother’s side, with Valerie opting to carry her everywhere until she could walk on her own. She became well known in the halls of Dorian’s schools as a force to be reckoned with. For eighteen years, Valerie advocated for Dorian, sang songs with her in the car, threw the best birthday parties, and showered Dorian with care and support. The love between them was all-encompassing. She was the world’s best mom, and everyone knew it. Valerie’s professional life was varied, allowing her to bring her many strengths to a number of different experiences. She worked in youth services in Montgomery County and Washington, D.C., where her caring and empathetic presence nurtured many. She had a gift for sensing which kid needed a little extra support and being there without them needing to ask. In 2014, she shifted to full-time work in the service industry in Washington, D.C. and made a name for herself across the city. Over the years, she rose to a position of leadership in the industry, acting as a fierce advocate for her co-workers and for the industry at large. From 2018 to 2026, she was the tip of the spear in the fight to protect financial independence and create reforms to improve working environments for the service workers throughout Washington D.C. Throughout her life she created deeply meaningful connections with the people around her and was gifted at making people feel understood and cared for. She is survived by a vibrant community of dozens of friends from her many walks of life, all left with a special bond. In 2014, she fell in love with Antonio (Tony) Martinez. They traveled together, cared for their beloved cat, Honeydew, and laughed together every day. This was the longest relationship of her life, and they were devoted to each other. Valerie was a beautiful, vibrant, charismatic, sensitive, brilliant woman. She was deeply loved by so many people, and she will be missed by everyone that got to experience her light. There was so much left for her to do, so many stories to make, and her loss will be felt for many years to come. She is survived by her mother Andrea Graham, her daughter Dorian Merritt, her sisterNoelle Allen, her niece and nephew Isabella and Andrew Allen, her brother-in-law Kevin Allen, her brother Evan Jerrold Graham, her partner Antonio Martinez, her many cousins, and even more numerous and loving friends.

Tributes

Ms. Valerie Joyce Graham

July 22, 1972 - July 28, 2026